What is the essence of a midlife crisis?
There are many ways to maintain mental health, and various media have introduced it. In addition to understanding mental health knowledge and paying attention to self-regulation, middle-aged people have the best and most direct effect by seeking professional help face-to-face.
Brief Introduction to Midlife Crisis
Midlife crisis, also known as gray midlife, is generally more common in men between the ages of 39 and 50, and in men between the ages of 40 and 65, it is also known as the man's 40 syndrome. Broadly speaking, it refers to various checkpoints and crises that may be experienced in career, health, family and marriage at this stage of life.
Overcoming a midlife crisis
Tension and fatigue are common phenomena in middle-aged people. Middle-aged people should learn to do what they can, and appropriately evaluate their physical and psychological endurance, and be able to accept the changes in their bodies brought about by the changes of the years. At the same time, they should tilt their focus to the family and experience more fun of family life. In addition, they should communicate with their families in time when they are troubled at work, and strive for their understanding and support. Facts show that the mutual care and love between family members is very important for people's mental health. In addition, when encountering conflicts, setbacks and excessive mental stress, they should be good at self-regulation and maintain psychological balance.
Psychological experts believe that everyone will have psychological problems, and the key is to see how you deal with them. Middle-aged people should maintain a positive and optimistic mood, fully understand themselves, and accept the reality of themselves. Only then will they choose appropriate goals, seek good methods, and treat everything with confidence without inferiority or pride.
Midlife becomes a cause of crisis
mental crisis
Midlife crisis is actually a mental crisis caused by middle-aged people suffering from various pressures, such as work fatigue, home fatigue, and smile fatigue. The main characteristics are as follows:
1. Both physical strength and energy are gradually declining.
2. Increased responsibilities at work and at home.
3. Loss of self-confidence and hope due to unsatisfactory work conditions.
4. Changes in family status due to the child's independence.
5. Feeling worried about your life in old age.
6. Caring for the elderly and other issues.
It is unclear from which day, the originally agitated youth music suddenly appeared dissonant:
In career, there are many obstacles to sustainable development, and the position cannot be promoted again;
Emotionally, the romantic feelings of the past have been worn away by the broken days, and the contradiction between husband and wife is deepening day by day;
The body is aging day by day, disease and death are opening their mouths, choosing people to eat;
After years of struggling, the backlog of mental fatigue gradually exceeded the warning line, and various mental illnesses came one after another -
Middle age is really a bottleneck in life, a very severe stage!
Career crisis, family crisis, physical and psychological crisis. Midlife is really a bottleneck in life, a very severe period.
In the midlife career crisis, one of the most typical and common phenomena is that the position cannot be promoted. Not only do you encounter a ceiling in your own organization, but you are also looking for a good position and development.
This dilemma is not difficult to understand. To put it figuratively: when young people just enter society, no matter what they do, they will go up. At that time, people are like at the bottom of a pot, and they will climb up in any direction. When middle age comes, people have already climbed to a height, and it will be difficult to climb to the top, and they will have to go through a very cruel elimination. Because there are many middle and low-level positions, young people who are new to the job are a little motivated, and they can easily climb from low to medium. However, there is very little room for high-level positions, and only a few can be promoted among the huge middle-level personnel. For example, in business organizations, there are a large number of directors, deputy managers, door managers, etc. (in large Western companies, there can be hundreds of managers), while there are only a few senior leadership positions in the group. Therefore, for the vast majority of middle-aged people, the middle and upper echelons are the limit.
What should I do? Should I endure in my original position and work diligently until retirement, or take advantage of the hard work accumulated in the first half of my life (work experience, interpersonal relationships, financing means, savings, etc.) to start my own business suddenly? Or switch to new fields and new industries, looking for another turning point? If I choose the former, I may not only be depressed, but also may be in the situation of pushing forward the waves in the Yangtze River, and I will not be able to guarantee my position; if I take risks and start a business and seek a breakthrough in my career transformation, if I fail, not only will I not be able to find a place in the second half of my life, but even the asset status that I have accumulated hard in the first half of my life will be lost - this is really a dilemma!
In addition, there are many reasons for the career crisis of middle-aged people, such as unit restructuring, reorganization, company policy adjustment, national system reform, etc., which will cause turbulence in some middle-aged people; some have no advantage in competition due to their aging knowledge structure; some are limited by professional characteristics, and it is not suitable to work in the middle of the year. No matter what the reason is, middle-aged people who encounter career crises are forced to re-orient their careers.
So, what percentage of middle-aged people will encounter a career crisis? There are no certain statistics in foreign countries. It is more generally accepted in the West that more than 60% of people with a college degree or above feel a career crisis in middle age; and people with higher positions are often more likely to feel the crisis. In addition, it should also be noted that the career crisis in middle age has been getting earlier and earlier, and some have advanced from 45 to 35, a full ten years earlier!
Career crisis
When facing a career crisis, there is often a need to tighten spending, and our traditional concepts and home buying habits add a lot of pressure to middle-aged people - some middle-aged couples may not be able to get into college because of their unsatisfactory children, so they either spend money to send their children to study abroad, or simply buy real estate for their children early to ensure that they will live a worry-free life in the future. This is to take the responsibility that the child should bear on their own shoulders, no wonder the burden is particularly heavy; and then there is our home buying habit. In the West, people usually buy villas in installments when they are young and strong. After entering middle-aged and old age, they generally change the house for cheaper and cheaper according to the economic situation. On the contrary, we are eager to complete the dream of a big villa, a second and third residence, and buying a house to collect rent before retirement, which makes it even more difficult for middle-aged people.
For example, cars, according to the financial concept of mature market economy countries, cars account for up to 3% of total assets, that is, your real estate, securities, jewelry, cash and other assets are all included. If you have 1 million, you can buy a car with 30,000 yuan at most, but how many of us follow this investment concept. Of course, this concept is very traditional. If you believe in today's popular loan consumption and debt is wealth, there is nothing to say.
Furthermore, it cannot be ignored that the moment when a man encounters a midlife career crisis is the time when a woman is laid off in her forties - if she does not have a major. An expert on women's issues said: A woman's lack of professionalism is a fatal injury. It doesn't matter when she is young, there are many jobs for young girls: public relations, secretary, typist, salesperson, etc., you can do anything. However, when a woman reaches middle age, she can have a stable career only if she has a strong professional. During a midlife crisis, the family may have to go through a very difficult period, such as a temporary drop in the income of the husband, such as a difficult business venture or even making ends meet. At that time, what does a man need most? The wife needs a stable job, a stable salary, and the husband can start a business without worries. Especially at this stage, the child is also in the critical period of entrance examination, the cost of education and the energy invested in the child are very large. A wife who can support the family and give her husband a chance to breathe must be a woman with a good career.
This is too important for men. I don't know how many men don't dare to give it a go when they face a midlife crisis, and endure their grievances until retirement. To put it bluntly, it is because his wife can't help, and the burden of raising his family and children is still on his shoulders, and he can't afford to lose! Therefore, whether the peak of a man's ultimate career is brilliant or not, his wife also plays a decisive role.
Family Crisis
In addition to career crises, people will also encounter family crises in middle age. The relationship between wives is not straightened out, quarrels are constant, and they are in the gap where it is difficult to leave. Leaving, reluctant to give up children, but also to divide property, and I don't know if I can find a suitable one again; not leaving, I am trapped in distress and quarrels every day, unwilling, like being bitten by insects every day, losing my sense of happiness and my energy to struggle in my career!
Research and survey data from home and abroad show that middle age is an eventful time for marriage, and it is the most difficult period for the development of marriage relationships: people reach middle age, they are old, they are young, they have heavy responsibilities, and they are under great pressure. In addition, during the period of social transformation, new ideas and new concepts have a psychological impact on people. The annual divorce rate is the highest among all age groups. Statistics say that in several big cities, middle-aged divorces account for 80% of the total number of divorces.
Compared with the young and even the elderly divorce, middle-aged divorce, the most heavy cost, it makes people in the most need to work together at the stage, suddenly lost the hands, psychological damage and actual loss are great; it also affects the growing children; more, after decades of hard work, has accumulated stylish family property facing division.
In middle-aged divorce cases, the most important thing to deal with is the division of property. This is also the most troublesome part for court personnel. First, the definition of community property is sometimes very difficult, because there are many new types and new situations that have not existed before. Today, the joint property of husband and wife has developed from simple money and in kind in the past to stocks, real estate, insurance income, lottery proceeds, business entities, intellectual property and so on. All kinds of property, and the amount of property is getting larger and more complex.
The most fundamental reason
The most fundamental reason for the difficulty in dividing property is that a series of judicial systems on personal assets in our country are not yet perfect. The legal definition of common property after marriage is still in the vague stage of joint ownership, while countries with mature market economies have long been shared by shares. That is to say, the husband and wife each have their own account numbers in the bank, and the securities, jewelry, etc. can be divided into their own signatures. The proportion of real estate, real estate, and some investments that are difficult to divide is clarified early. Only by clarifying the legal ownership of family property can both husband and wife enjoy personal asset rights.
A survey conducted by the All-China Women's Federation and approved by the Ministry of Civil Affairs on the amount of property in the name of the wife revealed that, among several major marital assets, the proportion of property in the husband's name is higher than that of the wife, except that the proportion of shares purchased in the name of the husband and wife is about 50%; 88.20% of the houses purchased by the husband and wife jointly after marriage have the husband's name written on the real estate certificate; when the family has spare money, the husband's deposit in the name is 8 percentage points higher than that of the wife; more than 80% of the wives do not know the operation of the husband's company or business; more than 40% of the wives do not know the income other than the husband's salary.
Mental preparation for midlife crisis
First of all, we should be mentally prepared, knowing that there may be this roadblock on the way forward, so that once the crisis arrives, we will not panic, but are fully prepared to fight; secondly, before the crisis arrives, we should be prepared, which includes continuous learning and training, so that our knowledge structure does not age; while accumulating wealth, we should pay more attention to accumulating intangible assets, such as work experience, interpersonal resources, analytical ability, decision-making ability, and even investment vision, insight, tolerance, and even academic style and tolerance. In a sense, the importance of intangible assets even exceeds salary. After all, our own quality and ability are the fundamental guarantee for smooth career development and step-by-step progress.
When facing a career crisis, you must first have courage. Courage is the prerequisite for all possibilities. Dare to ask yourself: at the difficult juncture of middle age, accept all cruel realities calmly and never give up.
Finally, when necessary, you have to dare to give up, and you can only get it if you have to give up. Sometimes in order to climb another higher mountain, you have to go downhill first. At this time, you must maintain a psychological balance.
How to Deal with a Midlife Crisis
emotion
Don't underestimate emotions, it is too lethal. Modern people are under high pressure, and there are many cases of emotional flooding and emotional pollution. Poor emotional control is actually a kind of personality flaw. There is a document introducing various methods for a world-class rich man to raise his son. One of them is that he has asked his son to be depressed, crying or angry in his bedroom no matter what happens to him since he was a child. But as soon as he steps into the living room, he must talk and laugh happily and be in high spirits! Because the bedroom is a private space, and the living room is the public space of the home. The rich are training their sons: in public, never reveal gray emotions. This is indeed worth learning from.
In fact, building and maintaining a happy family is indeed something that only people with mental health and sound personality can do. Most of this homework should be completed in their youth before marriage. If it is not completed, they need to make up for it. No matter what kind of person, if you can work hard in the pursuit of growth, you will have the opportunity to build a happy family.
mentality
Middle-aged people fight for a mindset. Whoever has a good mindset will go far.
The most fundamental reason for the loss of health in middle-aged people is that they do not have the concept that I am responsible for my body, do not pay attention to my body feelings at all times, and do not pay attention to health care. Our common model is that we usually do not care about the body, do not notice abnormal conditions, and once the lesion is formed, go to the hospital and push all the rights to treat the body to the doctor. This is already a very backward idea. The World Health Organization of the United Nations has long put forward a brand-new concept - our body, our health. The purpose is: we are the master of our own body, and we are fully responsible for our own health. Hospitals and medical treatment are just auxiliary means in this journey.
This requires us to learn and master health knowledge by ourselves (there are regular health care classes in foreign communities and enterprises, which must be listened to, and make-up classes after delays), understand the characteristics of our own body (family medical history, which diseases are easy to inherit, physical characteristics, allergies, drug resistance, and even blood types, etc.), adopt healthy behaviors in our daily lives (including adjusting our diet and insisting on exercise, etc.), and regularly check our bodies. Of course, when we finally seek medical treatment for a disease, after understanding the pros and cons of various treatment methods in detail, we also decide on our own treatment methods. The essence of the new health concept: Health is in your own hands.
The Strong Way
In fact, there are many ways to strengthen the body. The problem lies in whether middle-aged people are willing to take care of themselves and practice by themselves. You know, the health of the body is not isolated, it affects people's mental state, people's happiness, people's work efficiency, and people's overall standard of living - without health, there is nothing!
There are many ways to maintain mental health, and various media have introduced it. In addition to understanding mental health knowledge and paying attention to self-regulation, middle-aged people have the best and most direct effect by seeking professional help face-to-face, that is, seeing a psychiatrist.
